It wasn't just to survive, she knew that deep down. Hannibal had told her so, how she hadn't stabbed Nicholas Boyle out of self defense but that she'd butchered him. Was that really who she was? Was it what she wanted to be? She wasn't sure, and the idea that there's even some small part of her that did want it terrified her most of all.

She doesn't think it's a good idea to share those thoughts with Ellis. His acceptance and support is by far preferable to the disgust that would come with that admission. She smiles, one that's a little weary and very relieved, as though his words have taken a great burden from her.

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means to hear that."